I started writing a new post before noon today but never had the time to get back to it until 5:30 p.m. John's out of hospital and is in "transition" from hospital to home via Whatcom Hospice House. Rather than come straight home from the hospital (which would have been OVERWHELMING since we don't have any equipment like a hospital bed in place), our hospice team and Dr. Nestor felt that a transition stay at Hospice House was best. This way nurses can monitor his nephrostomy tubes and make sure that John is stable enough to come home. And Hospice will make arrangements to deliver and set up what we need at home.
The "plan" is for John to stay here up to 7 days, less if possible, and then come home where our hospice team will work out care schedules to meet John's and my needs. Although all of these is still new to us, I can only say that hospice care is wonderful! I don't wish an experience like this on anyone; but death is inevitable. Hospice caregivers are a gift from heaven. Speaking from experience, I would recommend that, when the time comes, you find your own team of hospice angels. Bless you all...Our journey continues...Nancy
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Hospital Update
John's creatinine levels have come down as of this a.m. from a high of 12 to 6. Labs will be drawn tomorrow a.m. This is a good sign. While 6 is still "dialysis level," we're hoping this level will continue to come down. John is not a dialysis candidate.
He may be discharged tomorrow...whether that be to home or hospice house, we'll have to make that difficult call when the time comes. He's very weak, not eating much (like 1/2 cup of food per day) and can't stand without assistance. We're coming to a crossroads and will be relying on his doctor, Dr. Nestor, and our hospice staff for guidance. I'm most concerned about making sure John has the BEST care for HIM.
I've been thinking about this long, terrible process from cancer diagnosis to where we are now. And as we near the end of the journey, I can't help but ask, "Why?" Something good always comes out of a bad situation. I hope and pray that maybe, just maybe I will come out the other side. Bruised, battered and a little broken...but perhaps a better, stronger person. So many people, friends and strangers, have continually stepped up to offer help and support. I ask God that I be given the chance to repay some of your kindness in your times of need. You are, quite simply, the greatest group of people I have ever known...Nancy
He may be discharged tomorrow...whether that be to home or hospice house, we'll have to make that difficult call when the time comes. He's very weak, not eating much (like 1/2 cup of food per day) and can't stand without assistance. We're coming to a crossroads and will be relying on his doctor, Dr. Nestor, and our hospice staff for guidance. I'm most concerned about making sure John has the BEST care for HIM.
I've been thinking about this long, terrible process from cancer diagnosis to where we are now. And as we near the end of the journey, I can't help but ask, "Why?" Something good always comes out of a bad situation. I hope and pray that maybe, just maybe I will come out the other side. Bruised, battered and a little broken...but perhaps a better, stronger person. So many people, friends and strangers, have continually stepped up to offer help and support. I ask God that I be given the chance to repay some of your kindness in your times of need. You are, quite simply, the greatest group of people I have ever known...Nancy
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Vow Renewals
Well it's nice to be posting something wonderful for a change...And a second posting in one day, too! John and I just renewed our wedding vows in hospital. We were going to wait for our friend Muriel Ferguson, a hospital chaplain here at St. Joe's, but she's off for a few days. And you know how anxious a bride can be! So before he headed home, our dear aforementioned friend -- Rick Westover -- handled the officiating honors. It's official...I've made an "honest man" out of John!
We were going to have the ceremony at Kapalua Bay on Maui. But, obviously, that is not possible. But this could not have been more beautiful, meaningful...and cheap! The "minister" performed the ceremony for a hug.
On this happy day, we send you our love and friendship...Sincerely, Mrs. John Grigsby.
We were going to have the ceremony at Kapalua Bay on Maui. But, obviously, that is not possible. But this could not have been more beautiful, meaningful...and cheap! The "minister" performed the ceremony for a hug.
On this happy day, we send you our love and friendship...Sincerely, Mrs. John Grigsby.
Nephrostomy Went Well...
They placed the nephrostomy tubes in both John's kidneys this morning and it went as well as it possibly could. Whew! John's kidneys are functioning but he will probably be keeping these tubes. They attach to a bag(s) (think colostomy only the other side) which will be emptied as needed, probably 4-5 times/day when things settle down.
So we have been given a little more time together, hopefully quality, comfortable time for John. My cousin Kathy (who lives in North Vancouver) and John's fraternity brother Rick Westover have been here. As I type, it's 1:10 in the afternoon, John's sleepy and life for the moment is very good. I'll try to keep this as up to date as possible.
In the meantime, my love and gratitude to Kathy, Rick and all of you for your support and prayers...We are so blessed to have you...Nancy
So we have been given a little more time together, hopefully quality, comfortable time for John. My cousin Kathy (who lives in North Vancouver) and John's fraternity brother Rick Westover have been here. As I type, it's 1:10 in the afternoon, John's sleepy and life for the moment is very good. I'll try to keep this as up to date as possible.
In the meantime, my love and gratitude to Kathy, Rick and all of you for your support and prayers...We are so blessed to have you...Nancy
Monday, January 9, 2012
Two Hours Later...
The CT results showed that John's kidneys are not working. In other words he is in renal failure. So the plan is to have nephrostomy (sp?) tubes put in directly to his kidneys to drain the fluid (urine) as the stents are not able to do that job. He'll have the procedure, which is done under local anesthetic, early tomorrow a.m. This should help with his nausea and he should be able to resume eating and drinking.
And that's all I know for now...What a roller coaster ride. Just without the screaming...Love to you all and thank you...Nancy
And that's all I know for now...What a roller coaster ride. Just without the screaming...Love to you all and thank you...Nancy
New CT Scan
As I write, we are in hospital again awaiting a CT scan to see if the stents that were placed last week are still working or if there's something going on with John's kidneys. He has not produced any urine, except for about 3-4 Tablespoons for the past 36 hours. A hospice nurse came to the house yesterday afternoon and inserted a catheter with very little result. So we came to St. Joe's nightmare of an ER, FINALLY managed to get one of their infamous "hospitalists" (the wanna-be-staff docs) to admit John so he could get into "the system." John has a bed in the day surgery area and we're waiting for someone to take him for his scan. Labs have been drawn and a urinalysis will be done on the existing urine.
What this shows will determine our next step. Either the stents are not working and they will be replaced if it's determined that John is strong enough to handle the procedure. He has had nothing to eat since yesterday and even that was miniscule. He's had nothing to drink since mid-day yesterday either, but is now receiving IV fluids. If the scan shows kidneys, we may have the option of putting tubes directly into the kidney to drain them. If labs show that his kidney function is non-existent, then it's probably time for hospice house.
John and I were to have left for Seattle today in advance of a flight to Maui tomorrow. We were to renew our wedding vows at Kapalua Bay on the 16th. We will be married 30 years on Feb. 6 this year. Muriel Ferguson, a hospital chaplain we have come to know throughout this past year of chemo/radiation treatments here at St. Joe's has offered to officiate. We'll renew those vows, either here in hospital, home or at hospice house, and mean them even more than the first time we said them on that gloriously sunny day in February those many years ago.
I don't have the energy to check this entry for grammar or check spelling. This is an incredible journey, one that we all will make at some time. I was just hoping ours would have been a little later in our lives. Your prayers are, truly, keeping me going...John sends his love to you all...I send you that and gratitude...Nancy
What this shows will determine our next step. Either the stents are not working and they will be replaced if it's determined that John is strong enough to handle the procedure. He has had nothing to eat since yesterday and even that was miniscule. He's had nothing to drink since mid-day yesterday either, but is now receiving IV fluids. If the scan shows kidneys, we may have the option of putting tubes directly into the kidney to drain them. If labs show that his kidney function is non-existent, then it's probably time for hospice house.
John and I were to have left for Seattle today in advance of a flight to Maui tomorrow. We were to renew our wedding vows at Kapalua Bay on the 16th. We will be married 30 years on Feb. 6 this year. Muriel Ferguson, a hospital chaplain we have come to know throughout this past year of chemo/radiation treatments here at St. Joe's has offered to officiate. We'll renew those vows, either here in hospital, home or at hospice house, and mean them even more than the first time we said them on that gloriously sunny day in February those many years ago.
I don't have the energy to check this entry for grammar or check spelling. This is an incredible journey, one that we all will make at some time. I was just hoping ours would have been a little later in our lives. Your prayers are, truly, keeping me going...John sends his love to you all...I send you that and gratitude...Nancy
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sad News
Thursday night, I took John to the ER as he had developed a fever and was having difficulties in the "#2" area for a few days...namely, nothing was going on. Tests and a CT scan showed that his cancer has spread. There is a mass in his abdomen and enlarged lymph nodes. As both his ureters were again compromised, one almost completely blocked, two stents were put in (one on each side) which has alleviated his physical discomfort.
However, after consulting with Dr. Nestor (oncologist) we all concur that the battle is done. So we have signed up with hospice and will take things one day at a time. The care that John has been receiving from the very beginning has been nothing short of exceptional, supportive, professional and -- most of all -- kind.
As I write, John is still in hospital and was due to be discharged today. However he developed some back pain for which he has received medication and a fancy-schmancy heating pad to provide relief. They'll keep him one more night for observation, just to make sure those stents are doing their job. He'll come home tomorrow and we'll try to make things as normal as possible.
So I'm asking that you keep walking with us on this last journey, the road not yet taken but an inevitable path for us all. We're going to try to keep the following thoughts in our hearts as we move forward. And these are our wishes for you, too: "Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And remember what joy there is in silence...And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul...With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy." [The Desiderata] I wish you all peace and happiness and, mostly, love...And on we go....Nancy
However, after consulting with Dr. Nestor (oncologist) we all concur that the battle is done. So we have signed up with hospice and will take things one day at a time. The care that John has been receiving from the very beginning has been nothing short of exceptional, supportive, professional and -- most of all -- kind.
As I write, John is still in hospital and was due to be discharged today. However he developed some back pain for which he has received medication and a fancy-schmancy heating pad to provide relief. They'll keep him one more night for observation, just to make sure those stents are doing their job. He'll come home tomorrow and we'll try to make things as normal as possible.
So I'm asking that you keep walking with us on this last journey, the road not yet taken but an inevitable path for us all. We're going to try to keep the following thoughts in our hearts as we move forward. And these are our wishes for you, too: "Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And remember what joy there is in silence...And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul...With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy." [The Desiderata] I wish you all peace and happiness and, mostly, love...And on we go....Nancy
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