This morning finds snow and ice here in Whatcom County. I did some laundry last night in Hospice House's family laundry room so I have clean underwear. Yesterday, John wanted canned pears. So I ventured to the nearby Sehome Haggen and picked up pears, raspberries, two flavors of applesauce, Gatorade, grape juice and some sushi. (The sushi was for me.) Indeed it was icy! But our new Nissan Rogue handled the trip really well.
John's sleeping a lot more and not talking as much. Although when visitors or nurses come in, he perks up a little more. But changes are taking place. There have been some instances of confusion...Inability to track a football game (Green Bay/Giants); not remembering that he has dressings covering the insertion area of his nephrostomy tubes; and once a sensation of his bed tilting to the side...among others. It could be medication-related, but my instinct is saying it's cancer and the dying process. John's appetite is next-to-nil which is to be expected. Yesterday he ate a few grapes, a small cup of applesauce, a cup of mandarin oranges and a small bite of an oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie. And the worst of it was that the chocolate chips didn't taste good to him. (John is/was a chocolate freak!)
I have met some of the other families who are staying with dying relatives...Kristin (Token's "patient") and her family; local "kids"(aged 40+) who are here with their mom; Tom (from Bellingham) and sister-in-law Pat from Winnipeg who are here with Tom's wife Maureen...We are connected by the same bond of having to say goodbye to someone we love. We share stories and tears -- and the cats are getting lots of visitors, providing my fellow companions in death with comfort.
So we start another day on life's journey. The weather around here makes getting around difficult, if not impossible. So get out those jigsaw puzzles...Enjoy family time together...And, when the weather breaks, take those puzzles to a place where other families are waiting, watching and looking toward the time when they can put their lives back together. The jigsaw puzzles of our lives constantly change, never look the same, but somehow always come together as they should. Love to you all...Nancy
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