Agitation

I got a call from Kari, one of John's nurses, this morning saying that John had a "rough night" last night.  He was more confused, more agitated and was asking for me.  She suggested that I might want to come in with the cats for a night or two to help him get through this "phase."  I understand that this "phase" is a normal part of the dying process.  So here we are.
John has been getting continual medication for both pain and nausea.  He has had nothing to eat for almost two weeks now; only water and his requests for that is diminishing.  One of his meds (Lorazapam) combats nausea but also makes you sleepy, and they've upped the frequency of his dosage.  As a result, it has been suggested that -- because of his growing confusion and agitation, as well as increased pain -- they might switch out to a medication that would be more sedative.  So John may not be as awake or as aware very much longer.  But I know he would not want to be in pain, physically or mentally, and I don't want him to suffer any more than he already has.  We'll see how tonight goes and judge from there.
Growing up we all heard stories about Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So whose spouse was ill for a lengthy time and they literally spent all their time either taking care of that person or at a hospital bed side.  I can remember my parents saying, "I just can't imagine how they can do that."  Well, I still can't imagine how they could do it either.  All I know is that you just DO it.  Those little words that we say when we get married, "For better or worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health..." are just words that we have to say in order to be married.  We don't REALLY think about what we're saying at the time.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have really meant what I said.  "In sickness and in health..." I'd do it all again, for John.  With God's help, with the care of the totally amazing staff at Whatcom Hospice House, and with your love and support...That's how I'm doing it...Thank you...Nancy