The home telephone never rang last night. So I called Hospice House this morning before getting out of bed to get a status report on John. I was sad to hear that he is still breathing, albeit in short gasps. There is no response, no sign of life other than his irregular pulse and his breath.
Before all of this started way back in January of last year, I was in favor of physician-assisted suicide in cases of terminal illness. And I am affirmed in that belief. However, John never made those same beliefs clear when it came to himself. He was most clear on his wishes to withhold life support, including fluids and nutrition. Unfortunately his body was so healthy...other than the bloody cancer...that his heart keeps beating and his organs keep functioning; with the exception of his kidneys which have greatly diminished in their output of urine.
So here I sit with Laura by John's bedside. We've tried prayer, having a minister bless John, beg, threaten, released a balloon to the heavens...Nothing seems to help him. I've asked John to open his heart to the love that is all around him; to reach his hand to those who will welcome him Home.
I love John Grigsby. I ask God to love him, too...My thanks to you for your support and prayers...Nancy
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